Things l ike this really happen.

So, I took off early from work today, to go to the Home Depot and pick out the self-stick vinyl flooring Hubby and I have been pondering for some time. We've gone in and inquired twice, last time discussing with the orange apron the terms for having it professionally installed. The answer to that was simple... "Totally easy, man. We're in and out in less than a day." For $1.50 a square foot, I thought this was a great deal. So today, I loaded up the cart with tiles, and went over to the installation desk to set up the day our house would get even better. Alas. It was not to be.

Despite the fact that the sign that says "We install!" next to the tiles, and our previous conversation with a nitwit teenage employee, they do not install these particular tiles. Only sheet vinyl (which is ass-ugly by the way, and three aisles over). At this point they all look at me like I'm the idiot, and proceed to load my cart with all the trappings of this DIY project. All of which have scary names, toxic fume warnings, and cost an obscene amount of money. Tell me this. If a tile is made and advertised to self-stick to any surface, why do you need an adhesive primer that needs to be troweled on?

Then, they sent me over to plumbing, where I asked another orange apron for a tutorial in how to move my toilet in order to tile, then replace it. The process seemed simple enough. Well, not simple- there was talk of needing a hacksaw to cut rusted screws, but I thought I had it under control... until we got to this part... "Now, after you move the toilet, be sure to stuff a rag down the pipe or the gasses will escape and it'll probably make you puke." Excuse me? I jokingly said that I appreciated the heads up because mine is a small, unventilated bathroom in a pretty big building. He looked me right in the eye and said, "You need to be careful then. That stuff is pretty gnarly. You could like, pass out and die."

Um. No. I called hubby, and we decided that the selling price will not be terribly affected if we leave the old vinyl as-is. It’s better than having to tell the next buyer that the previous owner died in a tragic home-improvement-killer-ass-gas incident.

Greatest invention of the 21st Century...

Yes. A new one. Hubby found this. It will prove to be HOURS of entertainment when I should be working. Move your mouse. Click to change colors. It's okay. You can say it. Artistic genius is hard to deny.

Other announcements...

I came across this link today. It cracked me up.

Walkin' in Memphis

That is how I spent the weekend. Hanging out at my old haunts on the Rhodes College campus with lots of old friends. It's been 5 and half years since graduation, and the reunion was great. Well, the events I went to anyway. Highlights were as follows: Friday night- Dinner at Ciao Bella (a new spot for me, but ravioli to die for) and seeing Greg (my great friend, sometime big brother, and director) in Little Shop of Horrors. Saturday- Slept late, went to the McCoy Reception to see the new space (I can't believe how huge and fabulous it is!), caught up with former professors/friends, got to see where Kevin is now working, and spent a few minutes up in his office, showing Hubby some tapes of my glory days on that stage. Later that evening, we caught up more with another friend at his newly purchased incredible home, did the actual reunion party where we ran into some great people I hadn't seen in a while, then had burgers at Huey's- a must stop if ever in Memphis. Both Hubby and I managed to straw-launch toothpicks into the ceiling.... I guess you had to be there for that. Sunday was more sleeping late, lunch at Central BBQ (which usurped Corky's as my #2 favorite BBQ spot. Rendezvous is still #1!) and a lazy after noon discussing future plans with Say and A. Maybe my dream of living next door to Say, raising our kids together will come true... All in all, the weekend was just what I needed.

Greatest invention of the 21st Century...

This item has changed life (and foot stink) as I know it. They fit invisibly into every pair of shoes I've tried them with- even those with toe cleavage.

(RED)

I don't know what the rest of the world thinks, but I love crazy Bono's new idea to raise funds for AIDS in Africa. I went to the mall early to be there when the second shipment of (RED) products arrived at the Gap. I have two t-shirts, a bracelet, and about 20 of the pins. And YES, I did know about this initiative before it was on Oprah.

Hugs

Things like this don't happen nearly enough in the world. Yay for hugs.

A weekend in the wilderness....

Five days back at work after Hawaii proved to be too much for Hubby and I. This weekend, we ran off to my parents abandoned Ranch/Beach house (they were in Africa). While Hubby was disappointed in the general level of bugginess, it was a great time with lots of "us" time and plenty of sleep. Our first night was spent with Suzipoodles and the Vamp, doing some much needed catching up. Saturday night, El D drove up from LA to join us and my Aunt and Uncle for a margarita fueled evening with many, MANY stories told 'round the table. We are City Slickers, though. While on the deck, geeking out with the telescope, we heard rustling in the bushes. Dave said whatever it was was dog-sized and black. We soon retreated inside, assuming of course that it was a Scrunt.

No, really.... Now I'm done.

Say was in a low-budget horror film. I don't know about you, but lobsters scare the hell out of me. This is the trailer:

Oh, and one more thing.

Especially for my BDF(Best Dude Friend). This site entertained me for hours.

Invention of the Month- The Stinkfinder

This neato little gadget is a blacklight that you can use to find where your pets have had accidents. It comes with a little bottle of stain stuff called "Stink Free." Not only are you accurate in your stain-finding (tough when you have neutral colored berber in a dimly lit closet) and odor-killing, but t makes you feel like you’re on CSI. Romeo has had a real attitude problem since we got back from Hawaii, and it's manifesting itself in "accidents" a few inches from the litter box.

Yes, I know you can find it on TV as “Urine Gone,” but that’s just a gross name. This is the best pet gadget I've ever bought.

Greatest LA Celebrity Sighting...... Evuh.

Today at the grocery store, I was embracing fall- getting punkin pie fixin's, picking out squash, gathering the necessary ingredients for kick-ass veggie soup, when a man nearly bumped into me, said "Excuse me," smiled, and walked by. I was frozen in my tracks with a goofy grin on my face, because that man (no more than 6' taller than me, and skinny) was none other than my first REAL crush. The boy whose poster graced my ceiling. Sigh. That's right folks. It was Mr. Wholesome Troublemaker Sitcom Kid turned scary Bible Guy himself. KIRK CAMERON SHOPS AT MY GROCERY STORE. I was giddy as a junior high girl, and had to call my Hubby and squeal as soon as it happened.

Aloha Oe

What an amazing AMAZING trip. Sorry this will be a long entry, but I wanted to share the best-of from our trip back to the Big Island.

Day 1- We arrive in Hawaii at 11:30 a.m., make a beeline for the hotel, and cheeseburgers in paradise at the Ocean Bar. Upon check-in, we discover that we have received a free upgrade to an Ocean Front Room (tantamount to $1000/night during peak season). Our bellman said the hotel was at low- capacity…. Whatever. I could hear the waves break from my bed. This is our view.

Day 2- Snorkeling in the Pauoa Bay, Hike to the Captain Cook Monument at Kealakekua Bay. 2 mi each way, but on the way back it's an elevation gain of about 1400 feet. Owch. Thought I was going to die, but the trip really was worth it. The photo to the right is the plaque that sits just below the waterline where he was hacked to death. The actual monument is a 27' white oblisk.

Day 3- More turtle snorkeling, and exploration of the North Island, including the Pololu Valley lookout (left) where you can see the waves rolling in for miles onto the black sand beach. Had it been good weather, we probably would have hiked down, but we came upon it in a rainstorm. It rains a lot on that side of the island. In just a few hours, we were in ranch country, rainforest, lava desert and what looked like the African savannah. Our travels were rewarded with dinner at Daniel Theibeaud in Wimea. My #2 favorite discovery this trip. I had duck that I would lie down in traffic to have again. No, seriously. It was that good.

Day 4- Probably our most adventurous day on the island. We drove over to the windward side of the island (one big honkin' jungle), visited Akaka Falls, drove through Hilo, and ended up in Volcano Village at our guest cottage before traversing Chain of Craters road to our biggest/best hike- out over miles of lavafield (estimates of distance range from 3- 4.5 miles each way) to where lava was entering the ocean. Armed with as much water as we could carry, a few snacks, a flashlight and two headlamps, we made it out to where land was being made. Pictures cannot capture and words cannot describe what that view was like. After an hour of basking in the awe of nature, we made the hike back with only 6 blinking beacons- which kept disappearing behind hummocks of lava rock- and our headlamps. It was the toughest hike I've ever done, but also the most worthwhile. We crashed into bed moments after getting back to the cottage.

Day 5- On our drive back around the island, we stopped at Punalu'u Black Sand Beach and the Pu'uhonua o' Honaunau (City of Refuge). Both were magnificent- pieces of the real Big Island. It was so funny to see bus tours stop at each for ½ an hour, take their pictures and leave. Exploring these spots was one of the highlights of the trip for me. We also discovered the South Kona Fruit Stand- a great stop for organic island produce. This is where we bought our macadamias.

Day 6- We were so tired, we didn't even leave the resort today. But we did get a beachside massage. 'Nuff said.

Day 7- Another adventure- one that brought us back to the City of Refuge. The picture is of the Tikis there, but we had heard that the snorkeling here was amazing. That doesn't even begin to describe it. The reef was so vibrant. I'd say the snorkeling here is the best on the island- even better, and less crowded than Kealakekua Bay. This was my #1 discovery for this trip.

Day 8- More snorkeling at the City of Refuge and a touch of shopping in Kona. Our last dinner at the resort- more cheeseburgers in paradise.

Day 9- We check out. I cry on our balcony for a little while…soak in the view and the scent of plumeria before we leave the Fairmont Orchid. We do a little Hawaiian style graffiti (at left- we made a Honu), visit the best of Kona, and fly home.

So many great adventures and discoveries:

• "The Book" - Andrew Doughty's The Big Island Revealed is the greatest tool one can have in Hawaii.
• Turtles are one of the best things about Hawaii.
  
• Always book the Bed & Breakfast Package at the Fairmont Orchid. After that breakfast buffet, you don't need another meal til dinner.
• Rent your snorkel equipment from Snorkel Bob for the week, and don't waste too much time snorkeling at the hotel- get out to the City of Refuge.
• Kayak, don't hike to Kealakekua Bay.
• There is no such thing as taking "too much water" when hiking.
• Eat at Daniel Thiebeaud whenever you can.
• Fresh air is worth a 4-hour flight. Sniff the Plumeria. You will miss it in L.A.
  
• Take the earliest flight there and the latest flight home. Get every moment you can out of the trip.

Above everything else, I've learned how important it is to get away from everything and spend time with my husband. I am more in love with him now than I have ever been, and I can't wait to sneak away from the world with him again.