The following is from Tim Goodman's Blog: The Bastard Machine... I only wish I was this witty. My apologies to Mr. Goodman for cuts and copyright infringement. My comments =italics.
- I'm crazy in love with "24." It's like dating somebody who's totally sexy and yet dangerously not right.
- Hello, this is your captain. We have flown over Makes Sense Valley and I'm going to bank this baby into a thundercloud of nonsensical claptrap!
- "You have no idea what you're dealing with, you little ass kisser." - Bill "I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt" Buchanan. How great was that?
- Do you think the producers of "24" were on the phone all of the last two weeks saying, "Please, please, can you NOT release 'Flight 93' that week?' No, trust us, it's going to be weird." Weird indeed. Jack hijacked a chartered diplomatic flight, beat ass on some and performed How Not To Be A Flight Marshall dinner theater in some raggedy ass hoodie. Only Jack Bauer has the cajones to pull off a hoodie and a man bag.
- Chloe needs to get away Bill tells Karen At CTU that he'll get arrested to stall - better me than her. Uh, YEAH. She can hack into Jesus's cell.
- Chloe walks into the bar and sets up her laptop like it's Starbucks. Might help to plug that in, if you're going use dial-up to tap into, you know, the whole world.
- Are cargo areas really pressurized? Just thinking out loud.
- Maybe hiding in the cargo hold is a good time to put the phone on vibrate. No?
- The First Lady of Our Holy Percocet, to Mike: "They've taken away my medication and I need to get to it." Why he didn't say, "Uh, are you sure you didn't accidentally take five of them and just forget?" is beyond me.
- The return of High School dialog. First Lady OOHP: "You don't have much of a personality, do you, Justin?" You sooooo can't come to my party. JUSTIN.
- First Lady OOHP: " What needs to be said I can't say to you." Why? Because I'm 16 and I've had half a Budweiser and I'm totally drunk. Am I pretty? I feel sick.
- I know it's an inconsequential scene, but when President Logan was thinking Deep Thoughts, Mike came up from behind him and said, "Mr. President!" and it looked like it scared the bejesus out of the leader of the free world.
- First Lady OOHP to Mike: "I'm going to get ready for bed now. Is there something else?" Mike: "Yes...there is...." I hope I'm not the only one who shouted, " Nooooooo, don't whip it out." Personally, I think it would have been awesome if he had whipped it out. Maybe that would calm her the fuck down.
- I lied. My favorite part wasn't Bill telling Ambiguously Gay Miles that he was an ass-kisser. It was Jack saying, " PATCH ME THROUGH TO THE PILOT." Pantswetting. Chloe: "I'm not sure I can do that." Oh, really? You're at a hotel bar without wi-fi and you're not even plugged in. What's the hold up?
- Hello, this is Jack Bauer. I'm calling you from the cargo hold. No. Not at the airport. On the plane.
- Jack, the Cargo Area Puppetmaster, finds a way to control the plane and/or crash it from below? With his belt, or a towel, or whatever? I mean, couldn't a really smart and motivated dog do that?
- President Logan gets on the phone with Ron Howard(aka Dr. Romano) again.
- No, Jack. Don't bother to check the recording or have Chloe record it. WTF?
- Hi, I'm Scott Evans, your co-pilot. I'll be putting us into a death spiral.
- P.S. Where is Curtis? I miss Curtis. He's got cajones as big as Jack's.
P.P. S. On an unrelated topic, am I a horrible person because I grinned and giggled when I saw the headline "Johnny Damon Flops Upon Return to Fenway?"
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